Understanding Fear

 

 I have always feared things that I couldn't understand and things I couldn't predict. I enjoyed planning my every step and thinking of the best that could occur and also expecting the worst. Constantly in my mind, i feared doing anything that could result in embarrassment , being rejected and shunned,not appearing normal and up to societal standards and of-course,being alone.

The fearful part of me have been dominant and therefore I tend to over think small issues, not try new things and stayed in my little world, my comfort zone.My idea of fear and my relationship with it began to change when i accepted these ideas:

1. Fear is a normal part of every human being
Fear comes from within and trying to shut it out wont make it go away. Fear which is not addressed will keep trying to get my attention and can become overwhelming. fear is similar to a small voice which gets louder and louder if not listened to and understood.

2. There is a reason for fear
Fear is usually there for protection. It is awaken when it senses risk or harm which can be physical danger,potential rejection or even future disappointment.Sometimes this fear can help to avoid negative situations while other times it might just be an indication of being outside ones comfort zone.Listening to and understanding fear can help to discover the reason for it.

3. My fear isn't motivation to not do something.

Once in a while fear helps me abstain from something destructive. Regularly, then again, my fear is activated by anything outside my comfort zone. While moving outside my comfort zone is unconfortable but it is also necessary to grow. If I limit my actions and interactions to only things that are comfortable, my life experience will be very narrow. If my fear is trying to hold me back because I might look silly or make a mistake, it might be the best and most enjoyable thing for me to do whatever I’m afraid of anyway. If I wait until I stop feeling afraid to try something, I’ll likely never try. The only way to stop being afraid to do something is to do it. In fact the more often I try new things, the more confident i become.

4. Fear sometimes shows us what we care about most.
It’s easy to think of our fear as a warning against things that might harm us. But sometimes fear actually points to what we really desire. We are afraid to test the things that are important to us because as long as we don’t test them they are still a possibility. But when we don’t try those things we care about most they remain only a possibility, never a reality. The longer we put off following through on our dreams, the higher the pressure to get everything just right becomes and the more afraid we are to ever try.


Fear will always be a part of  life but understanding fear helps to have a healthy lifestyle and also improves relationships with others. Instead of allowing my fear to keep me hidden and limited, I can lean into the discomfort of trying things that will help me grow and take steps toward building a life that truly excites me, all the while knowing there is a part of me watching out for my well-being.